This being said however it is very disheartening to see us walking the same vicious cycle again and again.
Somehow the conversation ends as "slashers vs others" and any criticism that comes out somehow gets generalized as "this person is talking against my right to write slash!" and the whole thing gets derailed (so far it is more like partially derailed since there are voices of reason still out there)
There is homophobia in fandom yes. Slashers are not the only one against homophobia. Not all slash fic is problematic in terms of gender (I have seen slash that does wonderful characterization of women, somewhat rare but it is out there), We do not say do not write slash. Not at all.
No what is being said is different:
1) Slash is not the only way to be progressive. Categorical demeaning of het and other genres is wrong and as dangerous as dismissing slash as a category. Slash snobbing unfortunately exists and is problematic.
2) Female characters are dismissed for reasons that are not realistic (too perfect, not interesting etc) when male characters equally badly written, or with problems (or with no screen time) is given focus and fixed in fandom. We expect a lot more (too much) from female characters. Why the double standard?
3) We do this to ourselves in real life situation too, this attitude is not because "it is simply fandom" or because "TV does not have good female leads". (Remember the Hillary Clinton bashing that occured during the elections. Think critically for a moment regardless of your political opinion how many of the arguments against her was objective concerns about her qualifications compared to the qualifications of other candidates)
4) We might even be influencing main stream media backward by our attitude (think of female leads and stories in late 90s compared to what came out in last 2-3 years. See a difference in female characterization? We went from Buffy to Bella as female heroine. Even then think of the hoards of Buffy bashing that exists in that fandom.)
5) Female hate and erasure finds a home in slash fanfic and gets mixed in/hides behind the legitimate defense of queer. Slash readers/writers need to be aware of this and it should stop.
6) Female hate and erasure is not limited to slash, it happens in many places in fandom.
7) Categorical defense of anything, even slash, is not being progressive. Questioning, reevaluating our cultural norms is progressive. Slash is one of those cultural norms. Identifying a limitation of a movement does not invalidate that movement. It just improves it.
Bottom line: write/read slash for right reasons and listen before going in defense I guess?
This is what I think, read and defend. Please do not put words to my mouth by saying I argue about something else. If there is a post out there that argues something else, I probably do not defend that either but don't use it as an argument to dismiss this conversation.