's The list of excuses for debunking
misogyny is thought provoking and there are several other posts made on the topic already. metafandom
Lets start by of some of the arguments from the list for not liking a female characters/het/femmeslash/gen
"I don't like female characters that are too violent/masculinized by being violent or physical."
"I don't like female characters that are too nice/passive/boring."
If male person said this to you in your work environment as a woman, what would be your reaction? Would you think that the person is just stating an objective opinion or preference or a fact about you or would you be thinking you are being discriminated against?
Are we even aware that we use the same wording?
Continuing with some other arguments listed in the post:
"Why don't you just write what you like then and be happy?"
"It's not fair for you to judge me based on my fannish likes and dislikes."
"This isn't my problem. "
This is where the discussion gets scary. Some of these were actually in the comments to an earlier post. If these were written for a post about racism the people writing it would either not dare or would be quickly shut up/overwhelmed by replies, presented by bingo cards and generally yelled at. However same people who defend religiously against (and rightly so) race discrimination (or defend queer issues) stay mostly silent when the same arguments are used against talking about misogyny.
You want more proof that something is not quite right here?
Check how many people are even bothering to talk about the topic, the key part of it: the erasure of women in fan work. The het/slash is presented as a consequence/instance of a deeper problem, not as the problem itself. However if slash was not mentioned, would this have even made metafandom?
So what is the bottom line? Is it that it is okay to be liberal and defending against oppression in many forms but not gender discrimination?
Should we stop arguing, refining and criticizing further now that we are so open and progressive that we don't have faults?
and on a tangeant:
Slash is not making us progressive. Slash is not making us not-progressive. The process of negotiating, questioning, critiquing social norms makes us progressive. Those social norms also includes our current culture of fandom and yes slash. Just because something is good does not mean there is nothing wrong about it (or vice-versa)
*waits for the yells in the comments*