autumnus: girl drawing with a backward clock in background (warrior)
It is that time of the year. Time for stress, ugliness and meltdown. I will be okay I think. I am just scared of the false sense of security and not getting work done. There still is 2 weeks, there is still 1 week. Next thing you know it is the ultimate failure.

I have one poster to make, possibly a tech report due in 5 days time, code to write (that has a tendency to stick in my hands, dammit). I have another project with a presentation due. I have an exam this Thursday for which I haven't started to even read for yet. It is going to be a scary week.

There is a voice in my head that screams in panic.

There is also another one that is already blaming 'stupid' You got no work done this week. (I did work but only for few hours). However I cannot do this anymore. Weekends are mine. I cannot be this 7 days a week 20 hours a day person, I was for younger half of my life.

I am beginning to realize things aren't as good as I show them to be. I lost 4 pounds in 2 weeks. It is not that it is unwelcome, it is the fact that I suspect it is related to stress. I am okay, I believe I am okay. I am just a little insane and way too close to the border of giving up and going back into hiding. This 2 weeks are going to be an ultimate test. I hope I do succeed.

Okay enough. I haven't slept properly in 3 days again. Time to break the sleeping pill and put my life into order.

I can do this.
(I hope)


autumnus: A purple monochrome portrait of Zoe from Dreamfall, with drawn stars in background and "the Dreamer" written on bottom. (Default)

January 2016

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